Well, sweetheart, it's been nearly two years since you have been gone and a lot of things have happened.
Your niece Jessica, has had a beautiful young boy named after her husband's father...Tom. Oh yes, and they also moved to Tennessee this year.
Trish and I have been in contact every few months and it seems to be easier talking to her without one of us breaking down, I appreciate your sister so much more now because of the circumstances.
Our boy is still working at the electrical trade which is awesome, you'd be so proud of him and while I was at their house last week I pointed out a news article that stated the "trades" (especially the electrical field) would be in very short supply of qualified workers for the next 20 years....outstanding, in my opinion.
Kendra Moon!
OMG honey, she looks sooooo much like you did at the same age.
This is you at about a year or so....
Here is your granddaughter...Kendra Moon Zwart, you guys look like twins! This August-September, Lisa had foot surgery and they needed someone to watch the kids. Opa drove down and stayed for two 1/2 weeks to help out until jury duty forced me home...it was so rewarding for me to take and pick up Riley from school and changing KMoon's diaper, it really brought me close to our grandkids.
Your grandson is so over the top about his baby sister. He plays with her, reads to her and of course, teases her. Riley is one smart little kid. He has won awards in both math and reading at school and is a teacher's favorite.
Jason and Lisa are very much in love and happy.
Our other granddaughter, Ashely, continues to excel in school also...how'd we end up with smart kids and grandkids?
Ashely is helping Opa spread a few ounces of your ashes on what I call, "Donna's Mound" and right on the tree that your girlfriends got for you.
You never have to worry about being stuck in one place, I have you spread across much of the west. While in Vegas last December, Kathleen, myself and Carie were spreading some ashes on the tree they had planted for you in the park. A maintenance worker came running over wanting to know what we were doing to "his" tree. After we explained he was good with it, I think he was worried we were damaging "your" tree.
As you can see (I hope) the Paul's Scarlet Hawthorn that the girls got for your mound is doing excellent, just like the one in Vegas...seems everything you touched grows wonderfully, just like in life.
I got to say, babe, you were the top of your field, and you were always so oblivious of the effect that your personality had on the other workers at the Mirage, they loved you. You always tried without success...I might add, to have me say hello to my fellow workers that I passed in the hallway, especially the one I did not know. I tried, I just didn't have your sense of humanity...it's so lacking today, we need you back.
I believe I may have told you that I went south for the winter this year, partly not wanting to spend that season in our house alone.
While in Desert Hot Springs, I did meet a very nice lady by the name of Carla. We had a few dates before I headed up the coast on the way home. I left the desert and Carla came up to Rincon Parkway for a weekend. From there I went up to Modesto to visit with our son, Lisa and the kids before returning home in March.
I continued talking to Carla and she ended up flying up to see our house and get a better feeling for each other.
As you wanted, I am moving on...am I forgetting or loving you any less than I ever did? No way!
I do not cry as easily as before when thinking of you, but I do think of you often...yes, every day and every hour. I'm so grateful that Carla is not threatened by you, our history or your presence in our house...this I have noticed because I bring your name up at least 5 times a day and she is very understanding. She also lost her husband 4 years earlier.
Honey, I know what you are thinking before you think it...not to worry...the Trust is as solid as ever and our kids will be the beneficiaries of everything. I understand your concern considering what happened to you when you lost your parents but Carla and I had a frank talk shortly after things seemed to be going well, besides...Carla has her own money so rest assured sweetie, all is well.
Here is Carla...no replacement, just different. I must be attracted to women that are real, women that are honest and women who always look for the good in other people. We'll see where it goes honey, but I have a very positive vibe with this girl. Carla was born the same year as you, within a month of your birthday in fact...gotta mean something, right honey?
That last night that we were together at the hospital I remember talking to you for hours even though you were in a coma and I was blabbing away talking about nothing and all of a sudden you turned your head with open eyes and looked at me… I knew immediately that your body just relaxed and your eyelids opened. It would have been nice to think that you snuck one last peek at me before you went, but scientifically they’d think I was nuts. I never felt so alone in my life at that moment, even though I had family in the room with me. I'm going to try to keep track of things you've missed, who knows whether you can actually get messages from beyond but here goes. After Vegas, I did what you asked me to do. I went home picked up the dogs and we went down to see your granddaughter Kendra Moon born. On the way, just 20 miles from home a moose crossed in front of me on the highway… (I knew it was a sign that you were watching because moose were your thing) Your granddaughter is so beautiful and a day early too! Two days later Riley and I went to see Jessica get married. It was a beautiful ceremony, I sure wish you could have seen it…very fancy. After that, the dogs and I went home. Two weeks later I went to North Fork Idaho because I know how much you enjoyed camping there. I was supposed to meet Chrissy in the Tetons as I think my family is trying to keep me busy but I went home after North Fork…just too tired to go on. I've been busy acquiring firewood for the coming winter. I get the dogs groomed just like you did and give them their flea ointment. Haven't gone anywhere but I have taken up walking to try and rid myself of the weight I put on in Seattle. What I really need is you putting me on weight watchers like before, that worked well. We've had a few parties in the neighborhood and there is always the question, "how are you doing Tom" and you know what my answer is babe "I'm doing well". As you and I have discussed in the past, life must go on for the survivor. Do I miss you? Like the dickens! This week while coming home from Spokane I started talking to you out loud. Good thing I was alone or the boys may have had me committed. I was apologizing to you for only getting three years in retirement before I remembered all the vacations, trips and boats while we worked. We lived half our life in semi-retirement, didn't we. That at least made me feel a little better. You are still here with me and there is no "till death do us apart", even in death you are my one and only...I love you.Sorry to ramble on babe and I really hope you can somehow see this. You know how important the blog is to me and this place would be where you’d look first. If you can. Spring of 2015
As hard as I may wish...things will never be the same, I'll always have you with me, just not physically. As bad as I feel at times about losing you, I sometimes think of the people that have never had our love, fun or companionship...it's times like that I count my blessing and hope I gave you all or more than you gave me...Happy 63rd, babe. I love you
